FOR A GREAT FATHER, ATTY. AGUAS

Papa was a speaker in a convention.

Papa in his office in Greenhills

Papa was on his law proper on this picture

June 21 was dedicated for fathers. I thought Fathers’ Day was a week before that. It was only when Vincent greeted me that I realized Fathers Day was actually on the 21st of June. I do not have any gifts for my father except a simple kiss in the forehead, a hug and a greeting “Happy Birthday, Papa”

This entry is dedicated to my father and all fathers out there. We are all familiar with maternal love. As one said to me, it is different when a child is near her mother because a mom is more supportive, more amenable, more understanding. Unlike a man who is tough and emotionally unyielding, a mother has more of that soft spot. If that is so, how does a father love? Let me count the ways thru my experience;

-1. My father is very strict. He had house rules that should be followed per letter. For him, rules are law and law can never be broken. I remembered when he said “Once my children marries, they have to live on their own. They can not live in this house anymore. They have to build their own family! A law that was broken during one of the lowest stages of my life. Upon separation, I begged my mama to allow me to come back to our house. I knew my chances of coming back was very slim, knowing how my father stood by his words. I even remembered him saying during my teen years “If my children can not follow rules, they should not be in this house!” Separated and with a child in my hand. Can I work and tend to my child at the same time? Can I leave my month old baby to a stranger while I work? My senses succumb by unspeakable fear just by the thought that I will leave my month old baby in the hands of a stranger, if not an untrained baby sitter. I want to be there to take care of Vincent but if I do not work, how are we going to eat? How will I be able to buy my childs’ needs? To my surprise, my father accepted me and my baby with open arms. Right after that, I hired a baby sitter so that my mama will not be burdened and focused on being a mom and a dad. The rest is history. If my father did not open his arms for me and my son, what could have happened to me and my son? I do not know but I know one thing, my father broke his own law to accommodate me and his grand child!! His childs’ welfare above his own imposed law.

-2. Just recently, my sister requested a favor to my parents. While her family migrates in a western country, my parents have to tend her house in Pasig. What will happen is that my papa and mama will be travelling from Pasig to Quezon City and back and forth every day! My father does not want to. For one, he can not sleep in a different house and his work is near our house in QC. More than this, papa was already confined in the hospital twice because of a stroke. The doctor says that the third stroke could cause him his life. It is not advisable for him to be physically exhausted. However, from Pasig to our place, if going to commute, would take him two and a half hour more or less to travel –one way only. On top of that, papa would have to walk a number of kilometers from the location where he will drop-off from the public vehicle to the exact location of my sisters’ house. Having this kind of activity every day could ignite a third stroke attack. I refused, however despite strong refusal, my father commanded me to halt down. My parents chose to tend to my sisters house in Pasig, including the problem that goes with getting the house have electricity, water and some other issues left for them to solve. For me, it is a suicidal decision. My father does not like it either. However, much as he is irritated, he chose to do it anyway. He conceded for my mama and for my sister. His wife and his child above his own health and his own life.

Shall I say more? My father supports his family. Sure, this is a regular function of a father. But then, does anyone know how it feels to work and work and not being able to spend even one fourth of the money you earned for your self? Not just for a month, not just for a year. For as long as they are needed. For as long as it takes. Probably forever. Some one told me “ I can not buy my sock until I am sure my childs needs are already addressed. A live person told me that and I can relate to him. Functioning as a father for my child, I feel guilty too when I buy something for my self. Vincents needs should be the priority. If there are some money left, that would be the time when I can buy something for myself. That is how my father is as well!!!

Perhaps, there are no dramatic and emotional talk. You will not see tears in those eyes. Maybe not expressive in emotion. Maybe too many rules that can not be bent…but see…those strong arms are meant to protect us…those unyielding emotion and unbend rules designed to discipline us and the fruits of his labor meant to sustain us..

This is for my father,
Atty. Salvador Aguas,
for being always there when his family needs him..

We owe a lot to you, papa!!! and we love you!! And for all the fathers who sacrificed every thing for their family.. For all the fathers out there...

HAPPY FATHERS DAY