Wednesday, July 21, 2010

How I Stopped Smoking

I had been writing about smoking lately. I am hoping that these posts would be able to help in my small ways. We talked about Why We Should Stop Smoking, Why is it Difficult to Stop Smoking and Tips on How to Stop Smoking. I also mentioned that I used to smoke. I even promise I will tell you about it. So here it is;

It was a typical night like any ordinary night. I believe it was my day-off. I was watching a television with my son. Vincent was ten or eleven year old then. There was this commercial on cigarette. Do you still recall the commercial on cowboys and cigarette? I believe it was Marlboro Country.

Vincent was already curious then. He asked me about the commercial and about cigarette. I recalled he even asked me if there is a need to smoke to be a real man. He further said he watched that in the television. I explained to my son how it is to be a real man. As you can see, he was curious at the time. The conversation about how it is to be a real man was further explained to him in my own way on another occasion. I will tell you about that conversation as well. But then, that will be on another date.

Now, let us go back to that faithful date. I told Vincent that smoking has nothing to do with being a real man. I further explained to my son the health issues that smokers encounter. Further, advising him that it is not good for a man or a woman to smoke. He nodded and said, "So, it is really bad to smoke?"  With a firm "yes" I answered, with a wink. Again, I replied "Yes, son. It is bad to smoke". Little did my son knew  at the time that his mother was smoking.

After the television show, I sent my son to bed. Believing he was asleep, I went downstairs. For some reason, I had the urge to smoke. I went to the gate and light my first stick of cigarette. I was already halfway when I noticed some one was on the window on the second floor of the house. It was directly adjacent to where I was standing then. When I stared hard, I realized it was Vincent. I did not know how long he was standing there. He was watching me as I inhaled and exhaled nicotine.

When I realized Vincent was my silent audience, I froze. I immediately threw the cigarette and hurried upstairs. There was my son, standing by the window. His eyes were inquiring. I think I  saw hurt in those innocent eyes. I felt trapped. Should I lie? He said " You said it is bad to smoke?" My knees weaken. I sat beside my kid.

I remembered hearing my own voice saying "Yes, son. I am smoking. And i did not lie when I said it is bad to smoke. I am sorry. It is my mistake. Tell you what, I promise that the cigarette you saw is going to be the last cigarette that I will smoke. Let me prove that to my best friend, please!  His  inquiring eyes looked at me directly. He asked "Is it a real promise?"  I swear and pledged my promise. Then I told him "truce?". We had this hand gesture, you see!  It is like saying "Ok, we are cool". Up until today, we had that hand gesture. 

I remembered his face lighten up. He held my hand as I guided him back to his bed. As I cover him with his blanket and kissed him on his forehead, I bid him good night.

You see, I was ashamed to my son. How can I tell him it is wrong and still do it? How can I tell him not to do it when he knows I am doing it?

That was more or less ten years ago. Every time I thought of smoking, I thought of my promise. I never smoked since then. Not even once. I did not back slide. Not even once. I stopped smoking in cold turkey, so to speak.

I stopped smoking not because of cancer. I stopped smoking not because of bad breath,  unpleasant smell nor the expense that goes with the vise. I stopped smoking because I promised to my son that I will quit smoking.

His inquiring and hurt expression was enough to make me ashamed.

His smile was enough to remind me that I can never risk breaking the credibility of my word to him.

The upper picture was taken in our Lady of Manaoag. Vincent was a already a teenager on that picture. 
The lower picture was from his graduation.


Bad Breath & Halitosis Cures said...

Re: Bad breath I had it for about 18 years. I was Ms. unpopular. For a long time I was thinking my life was not worth living. I tried every product I could buy and found they were no help at all, even the ones that cost $200 per month. I didn’t think to read about it on the web until one day a person I didn’t even know told me I had really bad breath and said she had it once too and told me to check online for a site called OralTech Labs as it worked to cure her bad breath. I was thinking how nice she was as most people just hold their nose and walk away from me. Anyway I followed advice and after a week I noticed my tongue started turning red and the bad taste was gone from my mouth. I started noticing people had stopped holding their nose and trying to get away from me. A few months later I bumped into her again. I told her I used her advice and thought it worked, she asked me to breath out in to her face while she smelt it and she is like smiling and said my breaths is fresh now. I hugged her, I didn’t tell her what I was thinking just a few months earlier, but her and that site was a life saver to me. Don’t let bad breath ruin your life like it tried to do to me. Another site I found useful is HomeBadBreathTest it shows you how to test your breath without leaving home. When I asked my Doctor who is an EMT bacterial researcher about the site he said it’s the oral research laboratories and there are 3 websites publishing the monthly reports from Oraltech Labs. I said why didn’t he tell me before? He said I didn’t ask him, which was true. He said all bad breath sufferers should visit OralTech Labs website as his clients (including me) report very good oral health outcomes after following their advice. Anyway I Hope this helps you, Jenny Wilson, SD.

Clarissa said...

I also once a heavy smoker before but I quit coz my husband is a radiologist and he told me that once you start smoking hinde na raw pink ang color ng lungs natin(meaning unhealthy na ang color nya).It was hard at first pero naiwasan kona rin eventually.Talagang pa-unti-unti,hinde biglaan.I totally stopped after learning that I was pregnant with Wakaba--hanggang ngayon, I'm not thinking of going back again into smoking.For my kids sake. Kudos to us that really stopped and quit smoking.

Cens World said...


Tama ka diyan..Talaga namang mahirap tumigil mag-sigarilyo. Nag kataon lang na sa sitwasyon ko, hindi ganun kalakas ang craving kaya hindi ako nag back slide.

Yes, kudos sa lahat ng tumigil mag sigarilyo at naging successful :)

Salamat sa pag bisita. Really appreciate it.

Claudia Lawrence said...

hi cens, nice post & good blog, i think u must try this site to increase traffic. have a nice day & keep blogging!!!

anney said...

Ang galing mo din nakayanan mo na ganun agad stop agad. kasi yung iba paunti unti lang talaga at nahihirapan. Ako naman nag try manigarilyo pero di ko naman nagustuhan kaya di ako na hook.