Monday, December 22, 2008


Sometimes we are confronted by situations where saying a two letter word "No" becomes extremely difficult. Maybe it is not uttering this two letter word "no" that is difficult. Perhaps it is the act of declining itself that is difficult. This is usually true for indirect communicators. Asian race like Filipinos are too warm and hospitable in nature. This brings about a trait wherein turning down a request becomes a great challenge. In filipino term this trait is associated with the word "pakikisama". This is when a person follows a particular flow diligently to the point that saying "no" becomes a taboo. Unfortunately, inability to say "no" sometimes put us in a very compromising situation. Had you been in this kind of predicament? Had you been a part of a scenario where a friend so hard to resist asked a favor and because you can not say a blunt "no" you subconsciously uttered a lame "yes" or made a promise that you will do what you can to meet such favor? Then afterwards regretting what you just said because you know you just made a commitment that you may not be able to meet? If you had not been on this predicament then congratulations, you are a direct communicator. However, if are still trapped on this kind of dilemma then allow me to share my thought. You are not alone, i had been on that boat! But then, think about this. Saying "no" is not a way of saying "I don't want to help" or "I don't care". Instead, it is a way of being honest to what you can and can not do! This will save you from sticky situation and will save your friend from false hopes. We can decline with grace. Say "no" then immediately state the reason why. Give different alternatives, if possible. This would make the person feel that the road is not a dead end. Say "no" in a normal tone of voice. If it will help to say "sorry, i cant help you" go ahead! I think honesty is still the best trait for a lasting relationship, be it with friends, co-workers or colleagues, right? I am also an indirect communicator and i hope i am able to share a thought with you today!! Have a nice day!

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1 comment:

Cecile said...

very well said, dear :-)

thanks for visiting and the comment, nakakataba ng puso..

anyway, just want to say "Have a Wonderful Christmas and New Year to you!