DEALING WITH PEOPLE

To quickly criticize seemed to be part of human nature. I am sure every one had the share of pain of being criticized and judged by others even when the person throwing the criticism is basing on impression and had seen only a glimpse of the total picture. Wounding criticism is when such impression had been passed on from one person to another and the person being criticized is the last person to know. It is said that there is always two sides of a coin. There could be a positive and a negative result for the victim of these circumstances. The positive result is that the person being criticized would be able to clearly see the true color of the person around him or her. Circumstances like this would enable the victim to see who are the real friend material and who are fake. The negative result is of course the wound it causes.

However, there is a constructive criticism. For me a criticism becomes constructive when it contains two elements -

1) When such criticism is addressed directly to the person concerned;
2) When such criticism is aimed for the benefit of the person being criticized, like
if it would create a room for improvement or it will save the face of the person
being criticized.

One element missing on the above-mentioned is not a constructive criticism. If the purpose of such criticism is simply to raise the fault of another person, specially when such had reached other ears before it reached the person concerned, it becomes frivolous. It spits venom. On the person being criticized, it puts him or her on a defensive state. I wounds the persons' sense of pride. For the person hearing the accusation, it creates the temptation of contempt and deceipt. Sometimes when we deal with people, we forgot that we are not only dealing with people with reasoning and intelligence. We are also dealing with people of emotion. For me, a person is measured not only on his accomplishments, but on how he or she treats other people as well. Unfortunately, due to the tight competition in the concrete jungle, the latter becomes over rated, which is very sad!